Dette er budskapet fra Kendry Castro (23). Hun er én av de mer enn fem millioner flyktninger og migranter som har forlatt Venezuela til andre land i Latin-Amerika og Karibia de siste årene.
Koronakrisen tvinger nå titusenvis av mennesker som Kendry til å leve i dyp fattigdom eller bli avhengige av humanitær hjelp, ettersom smittevernstiltakene forhindrer dem i å tjene penger. Mange tvinges også til å reise hjem.

Fotograf NADÈGE MAZAR møtte noen av disse venezuelanerne, da de oppsøkte Flyktninghjelpens kontor i den colombianske hovedstaden Bogotá.
Kendry Castro har omsorgen for to barn på ett og tre år. Hun kommer opprinnelig fra Merida i det nordvestlige Venezuela. Først dro mannen hennes for å finne arbeid. Seks måneder senere sendte han penger, slik at hun kunne komme etter sammen med de to barna. Hun var nettopp ferdig med skolen, og drømmen hennes var å studere medisin.
I Merida drev mannen et motorsykkelverksted. I Bogota fant han en jobb i en fruktbod på markedet, men da pandemien rammet mistet han jobben. Nå forsøker han å livnære familien ved å selge papp og jernskrap som han finner gatelangs. På grunn av pandemien er skolene stengt, og Kendry er hjemme med barna.

Hjelper sårbare familier
Mange flyktninger og migranter fra Venezuela som har mistet levebrødet som følge av koronakrisen har valgt å reise hjem. I juli hadde mer enn 80.000 dradd tilbake til hjemlandet fra forskjellige deler av Latin-Amerika.
- Vi gjør det vi kan for å bistå og beskytte de som trenger hjelp. I Colombia gir vi blant annet penger til utsatte familier og lokalsamfunnet hvor de bor, sier Dominika Arseniuk, som er Flyktninghjelpens landdirektør i Colombia.

Flyktninghjelpen gir økonomisk støtte til venezuelanske flyktninger og migranter over en periode på seks måneder. Vi tilbyr også workshops for å hjelpe dem med å håndtere traumer og psykisk stress, som mange av dem sliter med.

Lengter hjem
Kendry og mannen har vært uten inntekter siden pandemien rammet. Dette er første gang de mottar noen som helst hjelp etter at de kom til Colombia for tre år siden. Hun forteller at hun gråter ofte og lengter hjem. Forleden ringte hun moren i Venezuela og fortalte at hun ville reise tilbake, men moren frarådet henne: “Nei! Ikke kom. Her er det bare problemer. Tenk på barna.”
På spørsmål om hva hun vil si til verden om livet på flukt, svarer Kendry: - Fortell verden at livet vårt er trist, og at situasjonen er brutalt og nedverdigende.
- De fornærmer og ydmyker meg bare fordi jeg er venezuelansk. Det er vanskelig å komme fra et sted hvor du er elsket og verdsatt, til et sted hvor du blir ydmyket, diskriminert og sett ned på.
Flyktninghjelpens landdirektør, Dominika Arseniuk, forklarer: - Den største faktoren som gjør Venezuelas flyktninger spesielt utsatt, er at de ofte ikke har en formell status i vertslandene. Dette betyr at de har begrenset mulighet til å ta seg lovlig arbeid, leie husvære og tilgang til offentlige helsetjenester.
![June 25, 2020. Bogota, Colombia: Angie Carolina Burgosa (33) has been in Colombia for four years. She has 10 children. In Venezuela the situation became hard for her family. Food shortages began to affect her children to the point that they had a faded fight. "They were dehydrated," she says. "When I saw my children like that, we went to a farm... to steal some cattle... and in this theft I was almost killed. I mean, it was a terrible thing because I did it for my kids." That's what precipitated his departure from the country. She walked away with six of his children. She thought she would find help from the father of his children, a Colombian who had been displaced for a long time in Venezuela, and returned to Colombia. "He told me that he was going to help me with the children but... he turned his back on me later.
She stayed on the street for a while. And social services took their kids away from her. Now she is living in a slum called "Paraiso", Heaven, with four of her daughters, elderly of 10 months, 3 years, 4 years and her 16 year old daughter who is also mother of a 2 years old, and made Angie a 33 year old grandmother. They live in one room and there is no water. "I have pots full of water.it must have done something to me because I got bone pain, I got the flu. It made me very sick. Then I said, "My God, I have me the Covid! (...) I took a pill, and my daughter made me lemon water with sugar can. And that made me better. I was able to get out of bed. Because I couldn't get out of bed."
In Venezuela, she had this plan to have her own restaurant. "At night I would sell coffee on the road. And by day, working in a restaurant." In Colombia, she worked a time in a fruit shop. "The lady treated me badly and paid me 20,000 pesos (5 dollars) per day, and she told me that this was only what Venezuelans were paid... She always humiliated me. "
"I decided not to work for anyone, because I worked in a family home and I was treated badly too. So I decided to sell garbage bags to the traffic lights.(...) During the quarantine, one week it arrived that because we were locked up in the house, the girl did not have a teapot. So I said: What do I do?!! Let's go out! And we decided to go out and I met a man and he gave us a food package."
"A little while ago, about 15 days ago, there, where I live in Paraiso, there is a big school and they were going to give out food packages. I went. Because maybe I'm not Colombian but I'm human. I'm Venezuelan but I'm human. I respect everyone. So I went. Come on, Angie! And then, I was there. A man came and said. No, you are Venezuelan. Bastard! Gonorrhea [Colombian insult]! I asked: Why you treat me like this if I'm not messing with you! He was an old man but I think he was drunk. And 15 people came... to try to stab! A guy grabbed my hand and we started running! Finally the police arrived and they didn't manage to stab us. So now, if they're going to give something, I don't go near them because I'm Venezuelan and they can attack me!"
A similar story happened to her a few days before, with two of his daughters playing in a park. She was stabbed a few times, and a shiner in her left eye, which can be seen in the photos. "Like everything else, they always say "Venecos", they call us "Gonorrhea". Then already, stabbed, bleeding and beaten... my daughters crying (...) I grabbed my daughters and left. (...) My daughters decided now to stay in the house, locked up; for on Sunday, they did not want to leave." Credit: Nadège Mazars for NRC](/cdn-cgi/image/width=1400,format=auto,fit=crop,height=934/globalassets/images/coronavirus/venezuelean-voices/056_mazars_venez_migrants_col.jpg)
Bor i slummen
Ti-barns-moren Angie Carolina Burgosa (33) forlot Venezuela og reiste til Colombia for fire år, da situasjonen i hjemlandet ble uutholdelig. Matmangel førte til at barna ble avmagret og dehydrerte. I begynnelsen bodde hun på gaten. Da sosialtjenesten tok to av barna fra henne flyttet hun sammen med fire av døtrene til slumkvarteret "Paraiso", som på norsk kan oversettes med «paradiset». Hennes eldste datter er 16 og allerede mor til et to år gammelt barn.
![June 25, 2020. Bogota, Colombia: Lisbeth Chiquinquira (53) is originally from Maracaibo. She has 7 children, of which only one is still in Venezuela. There, she has a little house. But in the five years she's been gone, the house has been abandoned. At first, she lived in Becceril, near the Colombian Caribbean coast with her sons and daughters. They were paid to keep a house; but when it was sold, Lisbeth came to Bogotá, a year and 7 months ago, with a daughter and two of her grandchildren, aged 12 and 9. "Here I am working selling coffee on the street. Thank God, I did very well last year but with this cvid-19 issue, I haven't been able to work. I go out with my thermos, but the covid with the coffees... it doesn't happen! People don't buy out of fear. Before in Venezuela, I worked in a family home, I was an employee." (...) “This year, yes, it has made me quite difficult. I don't have to give up my son who is in Venezuela, who has two children. Yesterday he called me and said: Mommy, I want to leave. But no! The situation is very difficult. Just to bring him to Maicao [on the Colombian side, near the northern border with Venezuela], they are charging 100 dollars. And from Maicao to Bogota... other money... And since they're not letting anyone through, I have him there, in great need." When asked what her hopes are, Lisbeth replies: "That my country will return to what it was and we will return! Yes, I am very grateful to many Colombians, but yes, I would like to return to my country. There is my family. There is my little house. I have a sister, I have nephews and nieces. I have faith in God that one day it has to happen. Each one of us must return to our own homes, to our own country. To live our life, as we lived it peacefully. Happy. We were very happy." Credit: Nadège Mazars for NRC](/cdn-cgi/image/width=1400,format=auto,fit=crop,height=934/globalassets/images/coronavirus/venezuelean-voices/063_mazars_venez_migrants_col.jpg)
Selger kaffe på gaten
Lisbeth Chiquinquira (53) er en mor til syv og opprinnelig fra Maracaibo i Venezuela.
- Her jobber jeg med å selge kaffe på gaten. Takk og lov, jeg gjorde det veldig bra i fjor, men etter pandemien har jeg vært uten inntekt. Jeg går ut med termosen min om morgenen, men folk er redde for viruset og lar være å kjøpe noe som helst, sier hun.
![June 25, 2020. Bogota, Colombia: Lisbeth Chiquinquira (53) is receiving the cash aid in the form of a card given to her by a worker from the NRC team after checking her documents. She is originally from Maracaibo. She has 7 children, of which only one is still in Venezuela. There, she has a little house. But in the five years she's been gone, the house has been abandoned. At first, she lived in Becceril, near the Colombian Caribbean coast with her sons and daughters. They were paid to keep a house; but when it was sold, Lisbeth came to Bogotá, a year and 7 months ago, with a daughter and two of her grandchildren, aged 12 and 9. "Here I am working selling coffee on the street. Thank God, I did very well last year but with this cvid-19 issue, I haven't been able to work. I go out with my thermos, but the covid with the coffees... it doesn't happen! People don't buy out of fear. Before in Venezuela, I worked in a family home, I was an employee." (...) “This year, yes, it has made me quite difficult. I don't have to give up my son who is in Venezuela, who has two children. Yesterday he called me and said: Mommy, I want to leave. But no! The situation is very difficult. Just to bring him to Maicao [on the Colombian side, near the northern border with Venezuela], they are charging 100 dollars. And from Maicao to Bogota... other money... And since they're not letting anyone through, I have him there, in great need." When asked what her hopes are, Lisbeth replies: "That my country will return to what it was and we will return! Yes, I am very grateful to many Colombians, but yes, I would like to return to my country. There is my family. There is my little house. I have a sister, I have nephews and nieces. I have faith in God that one day it has to happen. Each one of us must return to our own homes, to our own country. To live our life, as we lived it peacefully. Happy. We were very happy." Credit: Nadège Mazars for NRC](/cdn-cgi/image/width=1400,format=auto,fit=crop,height=934/globalassets/images/coronavirus/venezuelean-voices/064_mazars_venez_migrants_col.jpg)
En av sønnene hennes ble igjen i Venezuela, der familien har et lite hus.
- Jeg forteller ham stadig at han ikke må komme hit, slik situasjonen er nå. I går ringte han meg og sa: «Mamma, jeg vil dra». Men nei. Situasjonen er veldig vanskelig også her. Bare for å få ham over grensen må vi ut med 100 USD. På grunn av pandemien er også mange grenseoverganger stengt.

Selger sukkertøy på bussene
- Etter pandemien har alt endret seg. Jeg selger ikke noe, sier Javier David Mendez Salcedo (28), som prøver å tjene til livets opphold ved å selge godteri på bussene. Han leier et lite rom med felles bad og kjøkken i sentrum av Bogotá, hvor han bor sammen med sin kone og to barn.
Javier tjener omlag 14.000 pesos på en dag. Noe som tilsvarer litt under 40 norske kroner. Husleien betales i daglige rater, og når den er betalt er det ikke mange slanter han sitter igjen med.
Hjemme i Venezuela var Javier ansatt som tekniker i et firma som solgte og installerte sikkerhetsalarmer.
Hvis jeg er heldig, kan jeg gi barna mine ett måltid om dagen.Javier David Mendez Salcedo (28)
- Vi blir sett på som tyver
- Da jeg mistet jobben, dro vi hit for å skaffe oss arbeid og en bedre fremtid. I begynnelsen klarte vi å betale for både husleie og mat samt andre nødvendighetsartikler. Etter at viruset rammet, har jeg ikke engang penger til såpe for å vaske hendene. Og hvis jeg er heldig, kan jeg gi barna mine ett måltid om dagen.
Javier forteller at det verste er fremmedfrykten. - Her blir alle venezuelanere sett på som tyver. For seks dager siden ble jeg arrestert og holdt fengslet i 72 timer, uten at jeg hadde gjort noe kriminelt. Hjemme satt kona og barna og sultet.